Somehow, there’s both no way you can prepare enough and no way you can prepare too much for motherhood. It’s some of the things you expect it will be with a million surprises thrown in. It’s exciting and tedious, funny and depressing, exhausting and exhilarating. It breaks your heart and makes you whole, brings out your very ugliest and builds you up, sucks the life out of you and breathes new air into your lungs.
I can’t believe I’ve been a mom for nearly 18 years. When I’m 42 years old I will have been a mom for half my life. If you add together the ages of my children, I have over 60 years of parenting experience under my belt. I’ve spent 10% of my life pregnant and 5% nursing babies. I’ve endured 50 plus hours of labor and given birth to over 46 pounds of baby. I was thinking of estimating how many diapers I’ve changed, but I actually don’t want to know.
I wanted to really reflect on motherhood and all it means for my blog post today, but I’m too tired. I don’t have time for those things right now. I’m in the trenches of it, surviving and fighting. I look over and see other mamas in the trenches with me. I love them and am grateful for them and learn from them all the time. One day this part will be done. We will be safely out of the trenches and sitting around with the other mamas swapping stories and soaking in the nostalgia of these days.
My family was very good to me this year. Brian went above and beyond to make my mother’s day special. The kids all contributed too. It’s been a peaceful, easy weekend and that’s just what I needed. Tomorrow I’ll be back in the trenches and loving (almost) every moment.